I felt all tingly inside for a few minutes afterward, a little giddy, you know, like when you just can’t keep your lips and cheeks from grinning all over your face?
After that, I didn’t notice too much of a difference, but something had changed…even if just a little.
That tiny experiment would eventually cascade with diligent repetition and thousands more experiments just like it into a radical transformation of the way I saw everything in my life.
It may not have been as monumental as the first time ever having sex, but the first time I ever did the slow face stretching, I knew I’d found something very different from any of the other life change and consciousness exploration approaches I’d been mired in for years.
Those first 5 minutes of stretching my face led all the way to me doing this business and writing you this email right now.
I just finished an hourlong undoing session–conducted by my beautiful partner, who’s getting quite good at it now–and I figured it’s time to get more personal about how all this came to be.
After the first time I stretched my face, I noticed a small time distortion, and the hold my emotions had over me seemed to loosen up…just a little.
Instead of identifying with the sadness, anger, or even happiness, I noticed a strangely deeper level of something creeping into my awareness. Something made itself known underneath all those shifting emotions and changing mental states, I just didn’t know what the hell to call it, yet.
Here’s a vintage video of me demonstrating the face stretching, long before the days of Command Z:
There’s something so utterly simple about listening to and following the wisdom of your own body that you can manage to ignore it for years.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve made the same trade unknowingly–you traded the simple flow of your organic, embodied life for a mind overflowing with stress and complexity.
The other part of that trade that no one ever seems to talk about requires your body to bear the burden of your mental overwhelm in the form of anxiety, tension, and rigidity. Look around, you can find the rigidity everywhere…
Listen to it in the voice of the cashier at the gas station.
See it in the shoulders of the waiter bringing your food.
Taste it in the chemicals designed to make you eat fifty more chips long after you stopped feeling hungry.
Smell it in the deodorant hiding your animal nature.
Feel it in your own tensed muscles.
I’m here for one reason: to tell you you’re beautiful exactly as you find yourself right now. 100% self acceptance is a prerequisite to this whole undoing journey, so I want to inspire that in your from the start, and all along the way.
This is your wake up call to go deeper into your life, and start enjoying a hell of a lot more of it…exactly as you experience it now, and even more as you go deeper.
You can start today by setting a timer–right now–for 5 minutes. Then just stretch and move every part of your face SLOWLY. Your eyes in different directions, nostrils, cheeks, forehead, brows, lips, tongue, and jaw. Breathing deeply while you keep stretching and moving your face–SLOWLY.
After the 5 minutes, just close your eyes and feel what you can feel in your face.
In the next post, I’ll tell you about the emergency going on in your neck and shoulders, and how to get the weight of the world off your back.
The only trick here is actually doing the exercises. That’s what you’re here for, so like Tim Leary used to say: Take a chance and break your trance. This is your life. This is your consciousness. So claim it and enjoy!
Soon, I’ll tell you about another first time…before which, I had no idea that I even had a body. Yeah, it’s that weird…but true.
Leave a comment or email me and let me know how it felt when YOU did the exercise. I love hearing from you.
PS: The next round of Radical Undoing intensives starts on May 3…and I’ll be doing a free, live Q and A on google hangouts very soon, so stay tuned!
“Man, when he is merely what he seems to be, is almost nothing.” -Antonio Porchia
From the moment we are born, the world gives us the impulse–and many times forces us–to have control over our lives. Emotions, behaviors, thoughts, everything must be regulated. We enter adulthood having learned to judge every detail of our existence, evaluating ourselves based on how much control we’ve acquired in the different areas of our lives: our bodies, job, bank account, interpersonal relationships, housing, etc.
We identify all situations where we feel we have no control as problems or difficulties. We also tend to categorize people and situations that aren’t living their lives within the proper parameters of control as dangerous and to be avoided.
In Colombia, my country of origin, there’s a saying about this: It is better bad and known than good and unknown.
The paradox resides in the fact that the more we believe we have control, the less prepared we are for the times where having it is just not possible, and we feel like victims of circumstances.
Our beliefs wear down and with them our capacities to accept ourselves wither away. We all know people who seemed to be very solid in their lives, but suddenly during an unexpected moment they succumbed to madness and lost all the apparent control they had over themselves and over the lives of others.
The father of a close friend of mine–after being very proud of the way he raised his family and thinking that his sons were under his control–became very aggressive and later depressed after one of them revealed that he was gay. The man blamed his wife, the school system, and finally himself for his son’s sexual preference.
Although, if we reflect about what having control—over our bodies, our minds, our environment and the people around us—means, what we find is that it’s related to our ability to accurately predict the future. My friend’s father thought that by controlling his son’s daily routines, schedules, and attitudes, he could prevent or minimize unexpected and undesirable future situations, but of course, he couldn’t.
This raises many questions. Is having control over things a guarantee for the future? Is life predetermined? Are acts of control and repression necessary to ensure a predictable future? If so, is it satisfying and desirable to always know what the future holds?
In my own life, a powerful urge to control my physical appearance required me to repress emotions and behaviors that seemed to be against my desire for control. Ideas about my appearance dominated my mind. Whenever the scales and mirrors didn’t match up with my ideals, I felt weak, useless, and unable to accomplish anything in life.
Our lives are always transforming and will continue to do so for as long as we live. False ideas about control can make us lose our heads when reality doesn’t live up to our expectations.
Many times, the desire to control is nothing more than a desperate attempt to avoid or alleviate our underlying sense of uncertainty, which is one of our greatest fears.
Despite our best efforts to dodge the impending insecurity, all our intents to repress, dominate or control inevitably lead to disappointments and failures.
When certain of my relationships came to an end, I felt very disappointed, because I had believed that trying to control everything I could about myself and my partner would somehow guarantee that it would last forever…
Much of our beliefs about control come from distorted ideas about how life really works. It’s a lie. We think we’re in complete control of our lives, but then something unexpected comes up to disappoint our best efforts (which is going to happen at some point no matter how much we try to avoid it). Then we experience feelings of guilt and shame, which perpetuate an endless cycle of trying to control, falling apart, and then trying again over and over.
The reality is that we’re not controlling anything in this way, we’re just following instructions, obeying an external authority who gave us the erroneous beliefs in the first place. And while we’re too busy trying to control the uncontrollable, our own lives are being governed by others, and this is where we are losing the only real thing we can be in charge of: being ourselves, connecting with our own truth.
Welcoming the uncertainty, learning how to flow in all situations in life, connecting with ourselves and with the rhythms in everything we experience, and living from a position of genuine curiosity rather than from fear and obedience; these are the keys to being empowered and letting of the belief that we’re victims of our circumstances.
Working with Command Z and doing the undoing exercises every day has been leading me through a process of re-discovering myself. I’m learning to navigate the different aspects of my life without the fear of losing control. What before seemed abnormal or chaotic, I now see as essential parts of my development.
And I’ve discovered that it’s more exciting to not know what tomorrow brings than to try to control or anticipate it. I don’t care much about divination anymore because now I know from my own experiences and sensations that there is nothing to control, everything is as it is, in its right place.
Human beings are built to transform. Unfortunately, no matter how externally “successful” we are, we use only a fraction of our inherent abilities.
While we have our ideas about why this may be, the important thing is to change it.
Command Z sessions, courses, and workshops are all based on the idea that you can be much more than the limited creature you are right now. This doesn’t merely mean taking a placebo or grasping on to the next self-help or new age fad to try to “feel good” or fit in better with the crowd. It means doing real work that changes your body, mind, and emotions on a deep level.
They say you can judge the value of a scientific theory by how many previous theories it makes obsolete. The effectiveness of our techniques and expertise make most of the self-help, new age, and personal development market obsolete.
You could search for years going in circles and not find the techniques that we use at Command Z. We use them not because of any particular lineage we belong to, but because they work. And though they work differently for each person, we have the expertise to make sure that you get the most out of them.
Get in touch via my personal email and I’ll get on the phone or Skype with you for 30 minutes so we can assess your situation and inspire your transformation.
I’m sitting at a cemetery near where I live. A couple horses stand around near me, just past the fence, one eating grass, and the other licking and scratching its face on the bark of an old oak tree.
I let go and thoughts drift through caverns and containers and finally join me here near a wooden grave marker.
Last Sunday a client and I spoke about believing in things we don’t know with 100% certainty. Then we talked about abstract concepts that get almost universally accepted as solid fact.
One example is the term “the world.”
What does that mean? You assume it exists, but can you point at it? If you start to think carefully about it, you might realize that the world only exists in your head. But you act as if the world exists.
Now, what else do you believe in that you’ve never really looked into before? How about your limitations? Many of them are no more than unchallenged beliefs.
So after we talked about beliefs for awhile, I mentioned that some clients want to just get the basic benefits of undoing:
-greater awareness of your own motivations
-knowing what you really want
And that’s fine. It delivers.
There’re also a few clients who, for some reason, want to go all the way.
By that I mean to explore fully all the assumptions and beliefs you have, and to rid yourself of everything false. After he said he’d like to take things all the way, he asked me why people seem to need to believe in things, from science to religion to occultism to politics etc.
Good question, and it gave me pause to consider how and why people live out their lives in a land of abstract concepts, make-believe categories, stifling roles, and ideas of how things should be…
Two main reasons dawned on me:
Both reasons relate to a paralyzing fear.
1. The fact that you can’t rely on anything but your own perception and experience.
Your own perception is primary, and the rest is second-hand information, no matter how accurate it seems. This can be frightening to realize, simply because it’s unfamiliar and you aren’t used to sitting on your own throne.
2. No one knows what’s really going on.
You’re born. You develop into a child and then an adult human. You get told and believe all kinds of stories about what’s going on, from evolution to angry sky gods to million armed blue deities to philosophies aplenty to….
Just because you hear about and enjoy and react emotionally to a story doesn’t make it true. Even if you memorize the bible or the origin of the species or a book on brain science doesn’t mean you know the 100% truth of what’s going on here.
That can also be horrifying to realize, especially since the only person you can rely on has no idea what the hell is going on.
It makes you feel important to pretend you know what’s going on. And it gives you a sense of stability, importance, and permanence.
There’s another way to live where you don’t require concepts and beliefs. It takes a lot less effort, and you don’t need to maintain false certainties about what’s going on.
You can remember that your life is the adventure you’ve been looking for. You find it by letting go. Letting go of what? Of all those fears about what’s gonna happen if you stop being the way you think you should be and doing what you think you’re supposed to do.
We all end up in the same place anyway, so why not get a fair amount of joy just by remembering how unlikely it is to be alive, to have a body, to perceive, to feel anything at all.
Is it not utterly magnificent when you really think about it?
Here’s to your adventure!
PS: if you feel like expanding your adventures and cutting through your own bullshit, you’ve got options:
1. Esozone Codex Course: perfect to test the waters, opening up to new ways of perceiving yourself, removing some filters between you and what is, and ridding yourself of guilt.
2. Radical Undoing 101: going a lot deeper into the process, conquering social anxiety, moving through fear, going beyond your perceived limitations, following what truly excites you, and expanding your life in ways you really enjoy.
3. Body Movement Course Series for learning how to undo your own chronic tensions and internal conflicts. Make your body and mind run smoothly so your life feels more like a ride or a movie rather than a prison camp or the doldrums.
4. Direct personal training online, in Ojai, CA, and sometimes available for workshops in your area.
If you want an extended training series, please email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org to discuss what approach is right for you.
This story is excerpted from the Command Z Lower Body Course. You can get the course and a whole lot more by clicking here. There’s another link at the end of the story below.
It was sometime in 2004 I think. Or maybe it was 2006. Actually it doesn’t even matter.
Ukiah spells haiku backwards. I noticed that on the first time through there. The next time, I had forgotten about it, but it certainly played out that way.
Ukiah, California. 200?. Side of the I-5 highway. It’s getting dark and I still pretend someone will stop and pick me up. Hitchhiking from Eugene, Oregon to Santa Cruz, California. My illusion fades as the streetlights flicker on and a cop car pulls up behind me.
I know what happens next, so I get my driver’s license out and face them and their flashlights. Everything checks out, so I ask them for a ride to the nearest campground. We drive around for 20 minutes and neither of the two cops can remember how to find the access road to the campground, so they get frustrated.
We pull into Denny’s restaurant. I’m not hungry. Just tired.
“You can stay here. They’re open all night. Take care.”
I got out and they drove away. I walked in to meet my fate for the night, which was a waitress named Barb and an endless cup of coffee. It lasted me until sunrise, 8 hours later.
During that night, I wrote many things in a notebook that disappeared somewhere since then. Three of those pages were delusional Haiku written after seeing the Ukiah sign reflected in the glass door of the restaurant. I had a chuckle and went back to killing time, 17 syllables at a time.
That night I decided my strategy needed some work if I was to avoid the hell that is sitting in a remote Denny’s all alone through a night of enforced sleeplessness.
It was really the only way things could go. If I hadn’t asked the cops for a ride, they might have just taken me in for hitchhiking. They can’t just leave you on the highway, or if they can, they don’t generally do so. I really thought we’d make it to that campground…
FLASH FORWARD TWO YEARS
Ukiah, California. 200?+2
It’s happening again.
I was standing on an entrance ramp after being hounded off the highway by California’s Finest.
My heart sank into the horizon as another Ukiah night took me hostage.
No Way. I’m getting out of here this time. Just one more car. I’ll ask to setup in the driver’s back yard. Come on. COME ON!!!
Some dude came walking up the road from the west. Eyes sunken. Scabs crusted on his face. Bad Teeth. Big, toothy smile.
“Hey man. You’re not gettin’ outta here t’night.”
“Yeah I will. There’s still some light.”
“All right. Yell ya what. Imma go to this store over here. If yer still here when I get back, you’re comin’ to my camp.”
He wandered over the highway bridge toward the store I couldn’t see from the ramp. I have no idea why I didn’t just go to the store and meet someone and get a backyard or park to sleep in. But I didn’t. I sat there thinking I was just about to get a ride outta there at any moment.
I wished for it so hard my forehead got a few new wrinkles.
I saw his less-than-majestic silhouette approaching out of the eastern darkness as the last bits of light faded from the sky. At that point, my mind apparently stayed there on the entrance ramp as I left with the guy down the road.
“I told ya so. Now let’s go.”
We walked for 15 minutes down the road until we hit a dirt road on the left. Another 10 minutes deeper into some thick, deciduous woodlands. It started to rain a little as we passed a derelict trailer parked in the ditch. During the walk, the guy insisted on having a conversation about meth.
“I hate that meth, and I hate people that do it. I sure ain’t into that bullshit.”
“Wait here and gimme a minnit.”
He pulled some slimy bills out of his back pocket and walked around to the door of the trailer.
My mind was far enough behind now that I couldn’t hear it screaming at me to get outta there.
After his legitimate business transaction, we walked further down the road and then a sharp turn into a dirt path through the woods.
After some twists and turns and mud puddles, an old guy, frizzled beard, crazed, half-open eyes, American flag baseball cap, sitting on a bucket.
I stopped to look at him while my host kept moving. He came back. Looked at me. Looked at the guy.
“Oh. That’s Jim. He ain’t gonna make it.”
He lifted up Jim’s shirt to show me a giant pustule growing like an alien out of Jim’s chest. Remember that it’s raining and dark at this point. This was Jim’s bed. I just nodded. Looked at Jim’s tumor.
“Let’s get going. It’s gettin’ wet out here.”
So we kept on moving through the woods.
I smelled the fire before we got to his camp. Hamburgers?
No. It was a steak.
We walked into a small clearing. There were three people in a huge Walmart tent, smoking something that wasn’t weed.
“Evrybuddy, this is Garrett! Ya’ll gonna act nice and treat him right t’night.”
I just smiled, took off my backpack, set it down a few feet from the fire and took a seat. The two kids must’ve been no older than 18, probably ran away from mom and dad so they could do drugs and sex without getting grounded.
“This is my wife.” He points at the older woman in the tent currently smoking the not-weed.
“Nice to meet you.” She went back to imbibing.
“All right Garrett. Here’s a beer, and I’m gonna roll up a joint.”
“Maw! Get out here and make Garrett a plate!”
So we smoked some actual weed, drank shitty beer from cans, ate steak and potatoes, and chilled around the fire.
“Set up your tent over here.”
He helped me setup my tent on a flat and raised area in the clearing. It was the perfect size and shape for my tent, and it kept all the water running away from me.
“What time you wanna get up in the mornin’?”
“Awright, I’ll getcha up. You go get some sleep. You gotta long trip ahead a you.”
“Goodnight, and thank you.”
A faint howl of warning drifted along the night breeze to my ears and gave my a shudder of fear. It passed with the breeze and ran off with the rain. I took a deep breath and fell asleep, warm and dry and full and high and happy.
I later realized that was my mind screaming from the roadside.
He woke me up at sunrise the next morning. We packed my tent and walked back through the maze of woods, past cancer Jim, who was still sitting on his bucket, still alive. He took me as far as the trailer, hugged me, said goodbye, and walked behind the trailer to do some more legitimate business.
“Thanks man. That was great.”
I walked back to the highway, was reunited with my mind, and caught a ride outta there.
Every time I look back on that story, it blows my fucking mind. I don’t know what superlatives I can use to properly communicate the intensity of that experience. I had never felt more relaxed in my life than I felt when my gracious host guided me off that highway ramp.
My legs knew exactly what to do, and there was no use for my mind at all. No questions and no hesitation…
Learn how to listen to your own body and let your legs do the walking. Besides, your mind’s never walked anywhere. It doesn’t even have legs. Here’s the course link again.
I was sitting in my car alone after letting out the most blood curdling scream I have ever heard come out of my body. I felt as though my face was going to tear open as it spontaneously roared thru me…
Whoa, Where did that come from? I thought, my body heaving, then relaxing over the next minute.
I had just left my first Alcoholic’s Anonymous (AA) meeting….
Oh yeah, you should know that I’m not an alcoholic and have never been.
Once again, I was out in the field on a Command Z adventure.
As instructed by the course, I looked up AA meetings in my city that I could attend. To my shock, there were more than twenty available in my city on one night.
I crafted an alternate identity complete with enough background and sob story to interact with at the meeting. I entered the room of reformed drunkards two hours before my scream to play the role of an alcoholic for the night.
Steve was my name. I made friends fast as soon as I walked through the door.
Welcoming little club they have here, I thought to myself.
As I went talked to people, shared my tale, and listened to theirs, something became glaringly obvious to me.
Of course this is all just my subjective opinion and ain’t worth shit, but hear me out. Doing an experiment like this really ramps up your sensitivity to everything around you.
What I noticed was how melodramatic and childish all these people and their problems were. It was obvious to me that the problems they presented were just masks for even greater problems beneath the surface.
Problems that they couldn’t confront on a conscious level. Problems that were living through them, having them search in ridiculous places for relief.
AA seems like it was pretty much designed to let this false sense of “healing” take place. AA was their blankie. These people used to run away from life with booze, now they do it with this group.
Ok, ok, so maybe it’s not news to you that AA is a sham, and maybe it shouldn’t have been for me. But that’s not the point. As always with the Command Z work, the goal is to take a giant mirror and turn it back on yourself.
And boy was it a shock for me when I took a look in the mirror….
It was clear.
I was engaging in a bunch of bullshit and drama out of habit and belief, just like the people in this group. Fuck me…I’m a Drama Queen! It’s true. I couldn’t deny it. I am among the least dramatic people I know, but all the same, it was true.
I forced myself to ask….
What is MY AA?
Where do I walk in and get off on spreading my own self-limiting bullshit, loving the fact that the others won’t say a word about it? Just “accepting” me, because it makes them comfortable that someone else is lying to himself as much as they are.
Who are the people in my life that let me get away with this?
Who are the people who allow me to reinforce my bullshit while acting as “support”?
“You ignore my obvious lies, I’ll ignore yours, we’re best friends, high-five”.
Is it Family?
Who happily lets me lie to myself about who I am and how I live?
I confronted all of these possibilities thoroughly.
Hey you, the one sitting there reading this…pretty entertaining, ain’t it?
This isn’t about ME…
It’s your turn.
What is YOUR AA?
Where do you walk in and get off on spreading your own self-limiting bullshit, loving the fact that the others won’t say a word about it? Just “accepting” you, because it makes them comfortable that someone else is lying to himself as much as they are.
Who are the people the people in your life that let you get away with this?
Who are the people who allow you to reinforce your bullshit while acting as “support”?
“You ignore my obvious lies, I’ll ignore yours, we’re best friends”.
Is it Family?
Who happily lets you lie to yourself about who you are and how you live?
Can you confront all of these possibilities thoroughly?
Do you feel something burning inside you right now?
Do you feel a little uncomfortable with what you just learned?
Here it comes…………..
LET IT OUT!
I’M A DRAMA QUEEN!”
Relax and Breathe……
There’s no one to blame here, just awareness to be gained and relationships to be changed. What we call Undoing is actually pretty fun when you get over it being terrifying once in a while.
The great thing about the Command Z courses is they are customized to you. Your experience WILL NOT be like mine. They are truly choose your own adventures that will tailor themselves to your life.
It’s not all about going out in public and being a jackass either. This is highly personal work that mostly takes place in the comfort of your home.
If you’re curious to learn what taking on the Command Z work could do for you, now’s a great time to dive in to Radical Undoing 101. This revolutionary course can change your life forever.
Follow the link to choose your adventure: