The Day I Infiltrated an AA Meeting to Change My Brain
I was sitting in my car alone after letting out the most blood curdling scream I have ever heard come out of my body. I felt as though my face was going to tear open as it spontaneously roared thru me…
Whoa, Where did that come from? I thought, my body heaving, then relaxing over the next minute.
I had just left my first Alcoholic’s Anonymous (AA) meeting….
Oh yeah, you should know that I’m not an alcoholic and have never been.
Once again, I was out in the field on a Command Z adventure.
As instructed by the course, I looked up AA meetings in my city that I could attend. To my shock, there were more than twenty available in my city on one night.
I crafted an alternate identity complete with enough background and sob story to interact with at the meeting. I entered the room of reformed drunkards two hours before my scream to play the role of an alcoholic for the night.
Steve was my name. I made friends fast as soon as I walked through the door.
Welcoming little club they have here, I thought to myself.
As I went talked to people, shared my tale, and listened to theirs, something became glaringly obvious to me.
Of course this is all just my subjective opinion and ain’t worth shit, but hear me out. Doing an experiment like this really ramps up your sensitivity to everything around you.
What I noticed was how melodramatic and childish all these people and their problems were. It was obvious to me that the problems they presented were just masks for even greater problems beneath the surface.
Problems that they couldn’t confront on a conscious level. Problems that were living through them, having them search in ridiculous places for relief.
AA seems like it was pretty much designed to let this false sense of “healing” take place. AA was their blankie. These people used to run away from life with booze, now they do it with this group, or in the BRC Recovery Austin centers, if the issue got too serious.
Ok, ok, so maybe it’s not news to you that AA is a sham, and maybe it shouldn’t have been for me. But that’s not the point. As always with the Command Z work, the goal is to take a giant mirror and turn it back on yourself.
And boy was it a shock for me when I took a look in the mirror….
It was clear.
I was engaging in a bunch of bullshit and drama out of habit and belief, just like the people in this group. Fuck me…I’m a Drama Queen! It’s true. I couldn’t deny it. I am among the least dramatic people I know, but all the same, it was true.
I forced myself to ask….
What is MY AA?
Where do I walk in and get off on spreading my own self-limiting bullshit, loving the fact that the others won’t say a word about it? Just “accepting” me, because it makes them comfortable that someone else is lying to himself as much as they are.
Who are the people in my life that let me get away with this?
Who are the people who allow me to reinforce my bullshit while acting as “support”?
“You ignore my obvious lies, I’ll ignore yours, we’re best friends, high-five”.
Is it Family?
Who happily lets me lie to myself about who I am and how I live?
I confronted all of these possibilities thoroughly.
Hey you, the one sitting there reading this…pretty entertaining, ain’t it?
This isn’t about ME…
It’s your turn.
What is YOUR AA?
Where do you walk in and get off on spreading your own self-limiting bullshit, loving the fact that the others won’t say a word about it? Just “accepting” you, because it makes them comfortable that someone else is lying to himself as much as they are.
Who are the people the people in your life that let you get away with this?
Who are the people who allow you to reinforce your bullshit while acting as “support”?
“You ignore my obvious lies, I’ll ignore yours, we’re best friends”.
Is it Family?
Who happily lets you lie to yourself about who you are and how you live?
Can you confront all of these possibilities thoroughly?
Do you feel something burning inside you right now?
Do you feel a little uncomfortable with what you just learned?
Here it comes…………..
LET IT OUT!
I’M A DRAMA QUEEN!”
Relax and Breathe……
There’s no one to blame here, just awareness to be gained and relationships to be changed. What we call Undoing is actually pretty fun when you get over it being terrifying once in a while.
The great thing about the Command Z courses is they are customized to you. Your experience WILL NOT be like mine. They are truly choose your own adventures that will tailor themselves to your life.
It’s not all about going out in public and being a jackass either. This is highly personal work that mostly takes place in the comfort of your home.
If you’re curious to learn what taking on the Command Z work could do for you, now’s a great time to dive in to Radical Undoing 101. This revolutionary course can change your life forever.
Follow the link to choose your adventure: