yes sir, no sir, thank you sir
“people say things like, ‘think outside the box’ and ‘do your own thing.’ ‘be you,’ is what they say, ‘do you.’ but they don’t really mean that. what they really mean is, ‘do what we want you to do, and then do you if it doesn’t affect us.’”
-katt williams, pimpadelic
there is one trait in common between the truly authentic person and the loser: they both have to deal with the sometimes extreme discomfort of being outside of the herd. but whereas the loser merely finds himself there, by circumstance, probably unsure how she got there or what he was expected to do in the first place, the truly authentic person accepts being outside as a consequence of his choice to act independently, exercising her own power of choice and dealing with the consequences. the truly authentic person often becomes a leader; the herd tends to remain the herd. what does the loser become?
it’s too hard, too painful for most to voluntarily leave the comfort of the group, even if that group is small and inbred. that is why so many who claim to be serving their own independent nature actually find themselves imbedded in other, less significant, maybe slightly more fringe groups than the larger society they previously belonged to. but those who, for whatever reason, find themselves already outside, must make a choice: assert themselves or surrender themselves. there isn’t any in between.
often the difference between the loser and the authentic individual is amazingly slight, though it may not seem that way on the surface. the difference lies in the willingness of the person to utilize the insight he has gained from the trials and difficulties of life and, through struggling against those resistances, to gain strength . while the loser gives in to the pressures of existence, the authentic person decides consciously not to tolerate manipulation or intimidation, whether from others or from existence itself, and when faced with a battle, not to shy away. and in not shying away she learns a secret: the battle, far from being the catastrophe he had imagined it to be, is invigorating, strengthening, and life affirming. they may even learn to love it. (this is not the same as going out looking for a fight).
the authentic person does not define him or herself within or against the group. he merely goes about her business and doesn’t fret when she finds that his chosen self definition happens to be at odds with the values or agenda of the group, other individuals, or his own dna. when people or circumstances inevitably threaten to overwhelm his will with their influences, she rises to the occasion and embraces the fight as an the opportunity to resist and grow – and of course, for the sheer joy of a battle of wills.