The terror of your situation
Ever get the feeling there’s more to it?
Like you might have missed something?
That feeling of dread creeping up through your chest, turning into a lump in your throat, and hot flashes across your face…when you realize you’re the only one who didn’t know! (But how could you have known? Even if it’s so obvious after the fact…)
Those things that you’re unaware that you’re unaware of can prove really tough to spot. But there’s moments when you feel drawn into your own life, like an intuitive pulling inward to the richness of your own inspiration and organic drives.
Other times it feels like complete desperation, like that time I had a gun shoved in my back by some dickhead on meth. You know you’ve got to move–there’s no other option–and for some of you, that’s what lead you here.
A sense of wanting to escape the intensity and anxiety of your own insides–to find something more stable, more solid, and more reliable than just running away from your own life–hiding in a blanket of habits out of fear of losing…
Losing what? Your dignity? (do you have any? What does it matter from the grave you’re digging?) Sanity? (What is sanity but another way to measure yourself against an imagined “norm” that literally no one fits into?)
As you stroll through your life, wondering if maybe there’s something more, take a closer look at everything you’re missing right this minute. Even as you start to think about it–right now–you can see,,,,,hear…..;;;;;taste::::smell”””feel a lot more than you did a few seconds ago, when you were completely focused on reading and thinking.
That, my friend, is the terror of your situation. One minute, you feel in full control of things, and the next minute, you feel a victim of the changing tides. Habits and daydreams creep in to blind you to the textures of the life drifting by before your senses.
The only thing it’s possible to prove, or to rely on, is that everything seems to drift it’s way out of your life…out of perception…and as things disappear, do you even notice?
Again, what does it matter?
The only reason for you to suffer is because you’ve unknowingly given preference to something you don’t have over what is.
The way out of that suffering is through bringing your awareness back to the world of what is in this adventure-land of your own perception.
You may never get exactly what you think you want, but if you can learn to want what is, then you can never be defeated. Then you will embrace your own invincible mindset, and find the freedom you’re after to live the life you choose.
Before that, you can only chase ideas, fantasies, and expectations, and find only disappointment when what is doesn’t live up to those ideas.
The cool thing is that what is will always wait patiently for you to come back to it, it will never fail you, and it can never be taken away from you.
That’s the reason I love doing this work: helping to usher you along toward your own realization of what is, and then fractalizing out into your life.
Have you ever taken in the vast, exquisite beauty of what is before it gets drawn and quartered through the filters and funnels of what’s supposed to be?
Every undoing session, adventure, exercise, and experiment is designed to put you in deeper touch with what is, while you UNDO all the shit that ain’t.
What do you think? How does that resonate with you?
Let me know in the comments below. Let’s get a discussion going. I want to hear your take on this.
Chew on that for today, but before I go, I want to invite you to take part in the next 4 week undoing intensives. We’re starting a week from this Saturday (so May 3). Sunday at Noon Pacific, I’ll be holding a live hangout on google. I’ll post the link tomorrow in the daily Undoing email. (Subscribe on the right over there is you haven’t yet. You get new exercises, concepts, and daily undoing boosters!)
It’s the adventure of your life, the best one life has to offer.
Talk to you tomorrow,