Guest Post Series: Andrew’s Leap into Freelancing
Andrew, a student and client of many months standing, recently quit his job and has turned his boss into a freelance client, charging more money than he had previously made as an employee, and freeing himself up for more independent and creative work. Here’s what he has to say about how his experience of radical undoing helped inspire the shift:
One result of the Radical Undoing work I’ve noticed is the heightened experience of discomfort in situations I have grown accustomed to, but which no longer seem to benefit me. Sometimes this discomfort inspires a burst of activity in which easy solutions emerge for situations that previously seemed difficult.
Other times, the growing unwillingness to tolerate an inauthentic situation inspires an urgent desire to simply walk away. For example, I may have hated my job for years without actually doing anything about it. After some undoing sessions I may find the job causes so much discomfort that I can’t help but drop it completely, almost as an organic reflex.
This experience recently led me to a confrontation with what I had previously labelled “security”. I realised, alongside some anxiety, that I had tolerated miserable employment situations for years, believing that they provided essential security. What I had called “security” had been revealed as a prolonged emergency state that justified dependence.
The process of undoing seems to include a gradual demonstration that I’m always at risk of catastrophe, regardless of whether I’m braced for an emergency or not. Undoing may increase the motivation to let causes of discomfort fall away. The absence of preparedness allows space for new sensations and movements. Among other things, this appears to increase the potential for experiencing genuine joy.
Similarly, I recently saw through the expectation that “security” requires the regular delivery of apparent value from a centralised source (my job). Acting on this realisation allows space for me to engage in a decentralised range of enthusiasm-based endeavours over which I have more control. The anxiety associated with my employer-dependent job now outweighs the anxiety associated with the uncertain life of the freelancer. Opting to embrace unknown outcomes, rather than the continuation of restrictive work patterns, seems far more likely to inspire a joyful sense of adventure.